Annie Get Yer (Paint) Gun

A reader contacted me after yesterday’s post and asked if I had heard about Annie Sloan paints.  I hadn't, so I put the name into Google and immediately found a world of links and photos attributed to this lady.   It appears that the breadth of project types one can complete with Annie Sloan’s paints is vast, and impressive. 

I found this overly-dramatic video claiming that this paint was the Best Paint in the World!  The video reveres Annie like she was the next Thomas Edison or had found the cure for cancer..  And for that reason, I would recommend you watch it purely for amusement’s sake.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: Annie Sloan - The Paint, The Person.

Although, after seeing the video, I was legitimately fascinated.  I mean, people with British accents giving such strong endorsements, made the whole thing seem very serious and credible.   My favorite line in the video is “it does come with a health warning from me, it is addictive. “  Heed that advice, readers!

In Annie’s defense, she has accelerated the refinishing timeline quite significantly.  The process requires no sanding, priming, or need for rollers and also provides for a quick drying time with usually a 2 coat max for most projects. 

The Albert Einstein of painting has also come up with a way to make brush lines virtually disappear with use of the Chalk Paint.  Genius!

To successfully execute an "Annie Sloan," you’re going to need both the Chalk Paint and the Soft Wax.  It is recommended that you also purchase the (expensive) special wax brush to avoid headaches down the road.

To begin, you should dump the can upside down for about a minute to allow the “nectar” that has settled at the bottom to be mixed around.  A little shaking and stirring is also advised.  Then, you apply the Chalk Paint using a paint brush (despite what the title of this post would lead you to believe), like normal.  You’re probably going to need to do two coats but my sources tell me that the paint provides  50% more coverage compared to latex paints, so the 1 quart can that the paint is sold in, can go a long way.   Also, it’s best not to paint with this stuff in the heat.  Don’t ask?

After the paint dries, the finish will probably appear very flat and dull, which is why you’ll be itching to spread wax all over it.  Waxing the paint also provides protection.  Due to the properties of the Chalk Paint, the chalky finish can be permanently stained from the oils in your skin or stains from beverages.  Therefore, it’s important to seal the paint with the wax finish to protect it.

If you’re going for that smooth, non-distressed look, you will apply the wax after the paint has dried (it’s mentioned incessantly not too apply to much wax, and after you’ve applied the wax with a paint brush, to wipe down the piece with a dry rag to remove any tackiness - no pun intended?).  If you’re wanting an antiqued, worn look, sand the piece after painting it with a 120 grit sandpaper and then apply the wax.

See, easy peasy! 

If you are interested in jumping aboard the Chalk Paint Train, The Purple Painted Lady, who deems herself an “Annie Sloan Paintologist,” has an entire tutorial blog dedicated to using these magical paints. 

Fair warning though, reviews state that the paint is not for the faint of wallet, as far as supplies go.  The stuff is what we call, “high-end.”

You can also find more how to information here and here.

The paint boasts that it can be applied to almost any surface, which according to one review, includes bath tubs (as well as metals, plastics and concrete - see above).  I love the idea of painting the outside of a free standing bathtub with a can of the black Chalk Paint.  With claw feet.  Can you imagine it?   Here are some pictures of exactly that in case your imagination isn’t running wild with the thought:

Jenna Lyon's (J. Crew's creative director) bathroom. J'adore! 

This one's just weird, so I had to share.  It puts the vain in vanity (almost?).

Just one, sexy, shade of gray. 

If you're seeing red.. 

And since, actually, orange is the new black: 

Might have to give ‘er a try!

A "Kraft" Project

This weekend I helped my friend to "antique" (used as a verb) some of her furniture.  Despite how it may look from my shop contents, I've never actually done any antiquing myself.  My perfectionist tendencies have precluded me from experimenting with the process, based on the extreme fear that I would mess something up in an irreparable way.  And thus, when my friend asked me if I would help her antique some of her furniture, I jumped on it.  All the fun without any of the consequences?  Um, yes please!

She had a dark wood coffee table that already had a slight reclaimed wood feel to it and a wood picture frame that had this fugly faux gold crackle type finish on it. She wanted to make both items more beachy and "charmingly worn" for her new pad which she recently purchased (you go girl!). Our goal was to give the table a kind of white washed antique look for her beach cottage vision. For the frame, we wanted to give it a lighter color that also had some white coming through and looked aged. In my opinion, I think we succeeded spectacularly. A passerby even stopped to compliment our work!

So here is a little DIY "tutorial" on antiquing wood pieces.  I must also mention that both projects were completed in a very short amount of time. Double score!

Here is a pic of the pre-antiqued frame finish.

We were silly and thought we had a taken a photo of the table before we began but found out after we were done, that we didn't. So I did some perusing of the internets and found this, which closely resembles said table.

Continuing with my KKTV post, we started with the frame because we knew we wanted to add more paint coats and thought it might take longer to dry. After taping around the inside of the frame (since we did the project with the picture inside), we put on a fairly bright white eggshell wall paint and used a basic paint brush to "casually" (we were trying HARD to adopt a laissez faire attitude for this project because both my friend and I are type A, by-the-book people when it comes to these sorts of things).

After the white paint had dried, we applied a layer of yellow-gold wall paint to the frame. The official term for the application technique we used was "sloppily" and while it may look like we nonchalantly applied the paint in this manner, there was a fair amount of calculation that went into it (which we victoriously disguised, if I do say so myself).

To conclude the frame antiquing process, we took a coarse 60 grit sandpaper directly to the frame after the yellow paint had dried and lightly distressed certain areas of it, paying extra attention to the corners. And abracadabra: here is the finished product:

Just some Subaru product placement :)

Magic! I love it x100!

(We decided not to add a clear wood sealer to it because it came out that good and we figured since it was up on the wall, it probably wouldn't be subject to too much wear and tear, which wouldn't even be a bad thing, if it was).

And now, the coffee table. So simple, folks. We added the same bright white eggshell wall paint that we put on the frame using a fatty paint brush. We were a little more meticulous with our application, which felt comforting :), but we only applied one thin coat of paint, so you could see the dark wood coming through the white. Once it dried, we went at it with our same coarse sandpaper (but made sure to go the direction of the wood grain that was already defined in the wood). The hardest part was resisting the temptation to keep sanding when we were already happy with the result. (We added a clear wood sealer after we sanded it, which didn't change the look at all but will help to protect it from whatever its future may hold). Voilà!

Nailed it. 

I’m so pleased.  Aren't we krafty?

So Whipped!

Oh MAN, I am so whipped over this whip I saw for sale in the gas station parking lot this morning!

Here is what I'm currently working with:

I call her "Penny Lane", because she's a "Beatle." Hee hee.

Frankly though, she's a little too modern for me. I'm more of a vintage car kind of gal. Although, Penny is pretty ideal because she's small so she can fit in most parking spots, allows me to be quite the asshole on the road without offending too many people and best of all, putting her top down not only epitomizes the California lifestyle but her backseat is bigger than you'd think (get your mind out of the gutter, people) which is ideal for carrying things from furniture to bikes to Christmas trees to even drywall!

But if I'm putting one wish out there into the universe, this would be my DREAM car:

An International Scout II Convertible.  Oh my word.  (If I could only get my hands on this, all I would need then is just some hot guy that's willing to fix the engine for me when it breaks down, all the time, and park on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean in this bad boy with me while we make out and watch the sunset... to complete my dream sequence :).

This baby would do instead (even though it's a Bronco). I luv zee color.

It's almost the exact same hue as my old whip, Bette. (Wasn't she a total betty?)

Can you believe I used to cruise this thing around the mean streets of Boulder, Colorado circa 2000 and 8? This turquoise Chevy pickup was from 1969 and had more miles on it than the mileage meter could even display. It had a hole in the floor near the gas pedal which required me to keep a wool blanket in the car when I drove it during the Colorado winter (but that's kind of part of the whole vintage truck look anyway, right?) And sometimes, it would just turn off in the middle of me driving somewhere and then incessant honking and yelling would ensue. Oh the memories! I still miss her so much!

I had this vintage looking radio/tape player installed and I would use a cassette tape adapter to blast Hall & Oates from my iPod . (Yep, this was in the olden days before iPhones were a thing).

A few years ago I sold her "remotely" to this nice older man from Craigslist, who came down from a mountain town in Colorado to have a look'ater. My dad, who was acting as my sales representative at the time, told her he could take the ol' girl out for a test drive on his own.

While he was out on the drive, Bette decided to unleash the contents of a hornet's nest that was "nestled" beneath the driver's seat.  The poor man ended up getting stung 5 times! And do you know what? He still bought her! (He tried to use the stings as leverage on the price but I wouldn't budge - I'm such a jerk, huh?)

Anyway, he sends me updates every now and then on my girl and even mailed me the collector plates because he thought I would like to keep them as a memory of her (which of course, I did). What a total sweetie pie!

TBH, I probably won't be making my best offer on that beauty in the parking lot but as soon as I make it big I'm going to get me a real live International Scout (topless of course). I'm in a fan club that sends monthly newsletters about new Scouts on the market and am totally serious about naming my first son, Scout. Oh no, this ain't no joking matter, my friends. 

And on that revelatory note, I bid you all a GREAT WEEKEND! 

Haven't You Heard? Orange is the New Black

Yesterday my dad told me about the show that EVERYONE  IS RAVING ABOUT  because he said the main character reminded him of me.  So then I asked my sister, who's almost always in the know about everything, if she had heard about "Orange is the New Black" and she gave me a look of sheer disbelief and minor disgust (it's important to note here, that she was wearing an orange dress at the time).  You see, she thought I was updating her on this old popular phrase, as if I had never heard it before, like some kind of out-of-touch grandmother.  Bahaha!   Who does she think I am ?!

I don't know if the hilarity (in my opinion) is coming off in this explanation or if it was one of those had to be there moments, but I think it's that kind of scenario right there that the producers were hoping would happen from naming the show what it is.  Am I too naive?  (She hadn't heard of the show, B. T. Dubs, which is why I thought I should let all of you kind readers, if there are any, know about it too).

Anyhoo, since that moment yesterday evening, I have watched 10 of the 50 min long episodes. I was up until 3 am! (So irresponsible!)  But I just want to state that I am super flattered that my dad saw similarities between the main character, "Chapman," and myself... Should I be??

The show is a "Netflix original" comedy-drama series and was created by Jenji Khan, who did Weeds.  It's a great cast with some of our faves from the 90's: our good old American Pie friend, Jason Biggs, has a large role and he does a great job. And "Donna" from That 70's Show has an equally substantial amount of face time. The main character, who is fairly new on the scene, has a familiar face that I think I may have cracked the code on: I think she kind of looks like Ben Stiller's fiance in Meet the Parents or the girl that Kevin James (love him!) tries to hook in Hitch or maybe a mix.   You'll have to watch it for yourself and let me know if you agree. 

To whet your palatte with a little teaser: The show is about this girl that goes to prison for a one time bad decision and JUST IN CASE you didn't guess, the orange they are referring to is her prison jumpsuit.  I'm no show spoiler, so that's all you'll hear of it from me, but (I bet you saw where this post was going), orange IS making quite a comeback this season and here are some of my favorite orange inspirations for proof.

Simply stunning.

Eeek!  I love these chairs so much that mere words cannot express it.

Gah! So cool!

Obviously this needs to be included.  Although it's timeless, I'll have you know.

Hard to tell if I'm more jealous of her legs or the boxes? Maybe we'll just agree I'm equally envious of both.

The above is a photo from my all time favorite fashion blog, Atlantic-Pacific. Check it.

And the below is actually the dress my sister was wearing when we had our "conversation."  Honestly, in this picture the dress looks kinda hillbilly-wack, but in person it's a very cute, flattering dress (it's cut out in the back in a cool way).  It's from Nasty Gal and you can get on the waitlist for it here, as it appears that it's currently sold out. 

But seriously ya'll, watch the show. It's HBO-graphic and the whole first season is on Netflix, which is either awesome or dangerous, jury's still out (just a little legal jargon joke for ya, to wrap this post up nicely).

Croatian Yacht Week 2014 (and a "Yacht Rock" Playlist)

Next year, I'm going to this:   

I decided right now.  Well, kinda.  I HAD heard about it before now, from my friend who went last year (and is there again this year because it is THAT good) and wanted desperately to go then.  But now, after seeing more Facebook posts creep onto my feed from others that are there now, my conviction has grown even stronger.  Rock solid, in fact.  Basically, to sum it up from my observations, it is a luxury rager on a worldly scale.  And every part of that statement appeals to me.

First things first, let me explain to you what it is:

1. You gather a large group of friends who you trust to be "cool" (meaning, not lame or dramatic). This is important because you will being sharing VERY close quarters them, lest things get awkward or uncomfortable, which leads me to my second point.

2. You need to get on procuring a yacht of some sort. This probably sounds like an impossible feat but actually it's not. Don't be mistaken, it's not a necessarily a walk in the park, but with the right amount of people, this can be affordable to even the common folk, like me. There are a number of sites out there that offer yacht charters in those parts.  Don't know how to sail?  Most charter companies provide a skipper as part of their package (love that)!  I'm giving you the link to Yachts and Friends, to get you started.

3. Then, blah blah, you need to book your flight (unless you live in Croatia- but let's be realistic, if you're still reading this post, on this blog, you don't).

4. Finally, and this is most important, you need to party like it's 1989! Because that was the height of yacht snobbiness and giant shoulder pads and badly shaped champagne flutes. It's also two years after the movie "Overboard" with Goldie Hawn came out, and I just really don't think there's a better portrayal of yacht culture than that. (Oh, don't tell me you're more of a fan of the 1950's style yachting, a la Jackie O. and Mr. JFK, that comes off as a bit, I don't know... perfect?). You are? Well then, fine. Either way, YOLO people!

Just in case that thorough explanation didn't make it crystal clear to you what it is (or clear at all), perhaps this video will help:

Not your speed? Maybe this one is:

One thing you should know... Due to the immense popularity of the Croatia Yacht Week, the authorities that be, have now established two routes (the red route and the black route). Each route circulates around to the pre-determined Croatian islands, but on different days, to accommodate the masses of sea yachters (der, it sounds like "sea otters", der). Here are the islands on the itinerary, for your reference:

Set sail from the marina in Split, the country's oldest city  

You will be heading towards the town and island of Vis (windward, we presume) where you will most definitely want to attend the welcome night party of epic proportions

Komiza is next.  A quaint and untouched little fishing village that offers delightful waterfront restaurants, boutiques and of course, ice cream shops (yay!)  It also promises yet another party at the open air beach club. 

Then you will head to the Natural Bay area where you can sail your heart out around to various smaller bays like Scedro, Palmmizana Bay or Livka Bay. 

Hello hotties. 

Following all that biznaz, you'll be on your way to Hvar, dubbed the St. Tropez of Croatia.  Need I say more?

And finally there is Sesula on Solta Island, one of the most popular spots on the tour, I hear, for reasons I wasn't quite able to discern.  Just trust me, ok.

And, (this is straight from The Yacht Week webpage, where I mined all these pictures from), "on Fridays, we arrange a regatta for all the yachts"... and on Wednesdays, we wear pink. If you know anything about Regattas, you know that even better than race itself, is the party afterward. Get excited!

But don't be putting all your party eggs in one basket, as partying is scheduled throughout the whole week (as you may have already noticed), including the open-air beach club party, the "party on the rocks" and the Old Fort party, which takes place in Fort King George III, built in 1812 by the English commander of Vis. Um, amazing! 

Here is a very, very extraordinary sailboat (I love it so much I put it as the background picture on my phone) that has what I like to call "yacht appeal." (Even though it may not technically be considered a “yacht”).  Sexy, right?

What do we think folks, Yacht or Not? I vote, definitely YACHT!

Ok, and as promised, a Yacht Rock playlist. But FIRST.... I get to explain to you what "yacht rock" is, in the rare event that you didn't already know. Yacht Rock was an online video series following the fictionalized lives and careers of American soft rock stars of the late 1970s and  1980s series based on a concept highlighting the incestuous recording careers of Steely Dan, Toto, The Doobie Brothers, Kenny Loggins, and Michael McDonald, among others.  The term basically relates to the stereotype of the yuppie yacht owner, enjoying smooth music while out for a sail.  But most significantly, it happens to be one of my all time favorite "genres." So, cherish this playlist, ladies and gentlemen, because it's pure gold:

1.       “I’m All Right”  by Kenny Loggins

2.       “Rosanna” by Toto

3.       “Ride Captain Ride” by Blues Image

4.       “Biggest Part of Me” by Ambrosia

5.       “Rich Girl” by Hall & Oates

6.       “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number” by Steely Dan

7.       “Sailing” by Christopher Cross

8.       “I Keep Forgettin” by Michael McDonald

9.       “This Is It” by Kenny Loggins

10.   “You Make My Dreams Come True” by Hall & Oates

11.   “I’m Not in Love” by 10cc

12.   “Lido Shuffle” by Boz Scaggs

13.   “Peg” by Steely Dan

14.   “Private Eyes” by Hall & Oates

15.   “What a Fool Believes” by The Doobie Brothers

16.   “Baby Come Back” by Player

17.   “This is It” by Kenny Loggins

18.   “Reelin in the Years” by Steely Dan

19.   “I Can’t Go for That” by Hall & Oates

20.   “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins

(20 Songs! Oh wait.... did you think I was joking about loving this genre?)

So, are you feeling a little "Naughty-cal" after reading this post? Maybe you want to buy some of my hand-etched, Nautical Wine Glasses? Certainly, their fancy appearance and large bowl is in keeping with the necessary yacht attitude that one should adopt..?

Ok, promise me you'll at least think about it :).

Now... Race you to The Yacht Week booking page for 2014!