On this day of pink, red, Hallmark and hearts, I'm going to be totally cliche and blog about a crazy little thing called:
... And I will feel no shame or embarrassment about it! However, I'm going to talk about the BEST kind of love and in my opinion, the most important kind: SELF LOVE. The springboard for all other kinds of love. Not to be confused with narcissism or having a big ego or being selfish, self love is one of those things that in practicing and applying, you are helping to create a better life and world not only for yourself but everyone else around you. There is no shame (in fact shame is the antithesis of self-love) or selfishness in practicing self love and by loving yourself you can in turn be more loving to those around you. Perhaps a more appropriate way to describe it is to be loving to yourself. Don't punish yourself, forgive yourself, treat yourself how you would treat a loved one and god dammit, DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF! (I should maybe be having this conversation with myself). By having compassion for yourself, you will naturally be happier and more pleasant and present to those around you. And maybe, just maybe, you can actually step outside of yourself and be there for others because you are not wrapped up in a tight ball of self doubt, self-loathing and self neglect which our mind (and society) are constantly trying to tempt us into.
So if I've convinced you of the value of this even crazier l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ BIG thing called (Self) Love, then here are some ways you can try to cultivate it:
PRACTICE SELF CARE
Whether it be eating healthy, or getting enough sleep, or exercising, or watching TV, going to the movies, or getting a massage, indulge in whatever it is you need to make you happy and put forth your best "YOU!"
You're not doing anyone any good by continuing to ruminate over the past that you can't change. We are human, we are designed to make mistakes. Torturing ourselves will not even necessarily ensure that we won't make the same mistake again! Whether the cause is big or small, guilt is an illusion of an emotion that won't do anything other than eat you up inside and perpetually keep you from getting what's best for you.
Being mindful if forcing yourself to consider what you think, feel and want. By being complacent or in denial, you are not living for you and can end up acting on what other's think is best for you. It's your life!
LIVE WITH INTENTION
When you live with purpose, you give yourself the opportunity to feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose. It will be easier to love yourself if you see yourself as a capable person who is able to accomplish what they set out to do.
If you set limits that are right for you ahead of time, it makes it easier to say no to situations that aren't in your best interests.
Don't keep people that aren't contributing to your happiness or success in your life. Spend your time with people that love and respect you. Life is too short to try to figure out how to make relationships that aren't working work. There are plenty of people out there who are secure in themselves and genuinely want the best for you. Seek those people out and get rid of the rest. You will be much happier and better off in the long run.
So there you go! On this Valentines Day, please make a promise to stop sabotaging your happiness and neglecting yourself and if you're already practicing self-love, frankly, YOU ROCK! I love you for loving you!
And for all my (fellow) single ladies (and gentlemen), here is my Valentines Day gift to you (it's a picture):
NOW HOW'S THAT FOR SELF LOVE?!?!
Here's to holding out for the right thing! REMEMBER: You are special and awesome and quite frankly, if you don't believe that, no one else if going to do it for you.. Except me, maybe. I think you're all special and awesome, ESPECIALLY because you're reading my blog ;).
But really, I Luvvv Y'all!