Fugly Sweater Season

Remember when Ugly Christmas Sweater parties used to be a novelty?  Ya I know, you're going to have to think WAY WAY back when you were actually capable of being shocked at what could end up on a sweater.  Man, those were the days... They've become so common that you have to actually broach the idea of figuring out how to wash these hideous sweaters or even more unthinkable - keeping more than one in your closet.  The December party circuit is now saturated with these easy-prep costume parties which are convenient on many levels.  Most notably of which being that December has an accurate reputation for hosting cold temperatures and what better antidote is there for bracing the cold than a SWEATER?!?!  So, now that we've cleared Thanksgiving, are slinking into hibernation mode and are officially in Ugly Xmas Sweater Territory, let's discuss this emerging fad in a manner of random musings.

                                                                                      This. Is. Real.

                                                                                      This. Is. Real.

Let me get one thing straight, however, before we get any further.  Don't get me wrong, I am not knocking these parties whatsoever.  I enjoy them immensely and am not going to be a grinch about the amount of fun to be had in laughing at others.  Just because they've come to lack in party theme originality, does not mean these parties can't measure up to a jolly good time!  If anything, their fun potential probably explains why there is such a spike in the number of these parties ending up on your December social calendar - a spike in the punchbowl might help to explain it too ;).  However, there is one thing that is remains unclear to me, and that is: why there seems to be an unending supply of atrocious Christmas sweaters..  HOW??  How have so many people decided to delve into this seasonal business venture and why do they all have such uncharacteristically bad taste!?  :)

      Do you think those candy canes are real??  A sweater with a snack?!

      Do you think those candy canes are real??  A sweater with a snack?!

My first introduction to this unusual phenomenon came from the movie Bridget Jones Diary when Bridget and Mr. Darcy both have to endure a family holiday get together while wearing itchy and ugly Christmas "jumpers."  Sidenote: why do they call them "jumpers," it makes no sense!?  At least the name "sweater" warns you of the likely possibility that you will end up sweating.  Was that the original source of this theme idea or was there another, more obvious origin that I'm not aware probably because I have little familiarity with anything that could be considered "unattractive"?  Just kidding! :)   Well, as long as no one has evidence to dispute BJD as the birthplace, then it is my theory that we have Ms. Jones and her granny panties to thank for inspiring a party trend that has caused a geyser of ghastly sweaters to be secretly flooded into the marketplace and consequently every thrift shop in your local area, all under the guise of being "vintage."

Bridget-Jones-Ugly-Christmas-Sweater.jpg

Another aspect of this topic that is worth mentioning: despite the stated purpose of this party (that everyone will look ugly and one is not supposed to "try"), there is an underlying, unspoken agreement that standard costume party rules still apply.  Therefore, you don't want to be the one that shows up at the party in unawares of this universal pact.  If you didn't know, now you know.  The only thing that can defeat this unsaid "law" is if, in fact, your sweater is the ugliest.  But honestly, that's a dangerous gamble in this day and age and thus I suggest you go with the aforementioned rule of thumb.

                               Clever or crass?

                               Clever or crass?

My go-to sweater, between you and me, is actually fairly of cute in my opinion and has an itchiness percentage of about 30%, so overall, I see it as a sweater win.  Although, if I'm reading the Christmas tea leaves, I'm probably going to need to add another "god awful" holiday sweater (wink wink) into my wardrobe mix soon.  And since I'm not a secure enough person to go totally fugly or bet all my marbles on the ugliest sweater, I've got my eye on this relatively aethetically-inoffensive one:

                                                                                              Buy it here.

                                                                                              Buy it here.

Childhood throwback + Macaulay Culkin reference + knitted sweater with holiday allusions = SWEATER SUCCESS

The only problem is, they want 50 bones for this no-doubt ill-fitting garment that is only wearable during one month a year.  Hence the reason I began to contemplate the tenents of this popular party theme and thus write this article.  What I'm hoping comes out of all this, is that they lower the price on this item to a justifiable amount so that I can begin to pontificate about what kind of pants to wear with it.  Come on Amazon, where is your Christmas spirit!

Ugly Christmas Sweater Meme.jpg

So, on this random, #didievergettoapoint post, what are your thoughts on xmas sweaters, ugly sweater parties, this Home Alone inspired "Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal" sweater and everything in between?  (En-light-en us readers to the opinions brewing in your head, below... No pun intended ;)

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